One of our writers posted a critique of the latest wildly-popular BioWare RPG, Mass Effect 2, on our sister site, InfoAddict, and it’s seriously stirred up the emotions of quite a few fanboys so we thought we’d reprint it here for you to enjoy (or hate) too. (If you’d like to read some of the encouraging comments and fiery criticisms left on the original post, you can find it here.)
With an average score of 96 on Metacritic, one would be justified in believing Mass Effect 2 has little room for improvement. An overwhelming majority of so-called game critics have weighed-in, predictably showering Bioware’s latest RPG with roses and garlands.
Bioware is one of a select number of game companies that receives a +3 modifier in review scores. So take an average game that would normally receive a 7, add Bioware’s name to the box, and oila! Instant 10. While this may be great for Bioware’s bottom-line, it’s actually a grave disservice to the company and gamers, not to mention a glowing example of everything that is wrong in game journalism; criticism specifically.
Having played and finished Mass Effect 2, I can safely say, without reservation or hesitation, that Bioware’s latest RPG is a complete mess, from top-to-bottom and not a product worthy of Bioware’s heritage.
Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is already yapping his useless mouth about Transformers 3. However, it appears Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is going to make a futile attempt to channel his inner-auteur. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Micahel Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, said that Transformers 3 won’t be as “robot heavy”. I mean, why would you want a movie about giant robots to be robot heavy?
Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is also promising less explosions: “There will be a nice crescendo ending,” Bay said. “It gets much more into the robot character. The last time you kind of met a few of the robots; this time you’re gonna get a much cooler landscape.”
So expect something between Ingmar Bergman and Stanley Kubrick. Or, expect the same pile of cinematic garbage to extricate itself from Michael Bay’s asshole because the man has proven time and time again that he is incapable of anything approaching quality.
Ever wonder why a hack like Michael Bay continues to helm awful movies? Because there is apparently no shortage of easily-pleased people with disposable income, as evidenced by the latest sales figures for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on DVD and Blu-Ray. In the first week alone, it managed to sell an amazing 7.5 million in its first week of availability. Previously, the vampire flick Twilight was the best-selling DVD of the year at 8-million copies, but it has had since March 21st to attain that number, whereas Transformers nearly surpasses it in a single week. And that, dear reader, is why Michael Bay is allowed to create more crap.
The majority of movie critics have offered their opinions on Michael Bay’s latest cinematic garbage and, as one would expect, the conclusion is that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is, indeed, cinematic garbage. Even fanboy apologists who make excuses for Michael Bay have folded their cards and proclaimed Revenge of the Fallen a pathetic movie. No real surprise.
One element of the reviews that is consistent, besides the obvious roasting of Bay’s weak directorial abilities, are the charges of racist undertones. Specifically, two characters are singled-out for criticism: Mudflap and Skids.
But of all the “humor”, the most non-spectacle element that would garner the most controversy (I say “would” because I imagine there are those people who are patting themselves on the back for shutting off their brains) are “The Twins”. Autobots Skids and Mudflap are two of the most racist caricatures to come along in mainstream cinema in quite some time and nothing can really prepare you for how they embrace the stereotype of young, under-educated, superficial African-American males. I almost wanted to call the NAACP in the middle of the movie to let them know. And I’m not a PC-guy. But when you see characters that are more racist than the crows from “Dumbo”, a film that came out before desegregation, then you have to take note. Oh, and just to make it even better, their voice actor is a white guy. You’re welcome, Race Relations.
Then there’s the Joepecicon – a terrible GOODFELLAS joke gone awry in the form of a small Decepticon who cracks wise…incessantly. And worst of all, the frightening sidekicks of the film and the mistake this film will most likely be forever known for: Mudflap and Skids, the Stepin Fetchbots of the film. It’s as if Michael Bay looked at Jar Jar Binks and said “Oh, fuck no. Really? People find THAT offensive? Fuck that, I’ll show them a fucking stereotype they’ll never fucking forget!” And he does.
The UK managed to get Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen a week before America and, not surprisingly, it opened to big numbers, once again ensuring that Michael Bay’s questionable talents will be crapping up movie screens for years to come.
Transformers managed to haul $20-million in its opening weekend, outperforming the original by a mighty 71%, just barely losing-out to The Dark Knight.
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