I just suffered through one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. I wasn’t planning on writing anything about it; I was just going to let it pass and hide my shame for even having voluntarily seen the film because I should have known better. However the filmmakers appear to have a huge marketing budget that they’re using to push the damn movie relentlessly through posters at every bus stop and an ad during every commercial break. The movie is “Gamer,” and being one myself, it got me thinking about what the film says about this very unique and diverse classification of people.
Before “Gamer” I had never seen any other films by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor who’d both written and directed it and I had no idea that they already had a reputation, of sorts. Their previous movies are Crank, and Crank: High Voltage which I’ve heard many describe simply as “hectic.” (They are also currently working on Crank 3, said to be in 3D, and finishing up Jonah Hex, which IMDb has explained like this: “In the Wild West, a scarred bounty hunter tracks a voodoo practitioner bent on liberating the South by raising an army of the undead.”)
In the special features of the “Gamer” DVD they themselves said, “Watching [our movies] is like audience torture. We were talking about this the other day, like, not only do we torture our characters [...] but we torture our audience. It’s like hitting them over the head with a ball pein hammer for 90 minutes.”
Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is already yapping his useless mouth about Transformers 3. However, it appears Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is going to make a futile attempt to channel his inner-auteur. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Micahel Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, said that Transformers 3 won’t be as “robot heavy”. I mean, why would you want a movie about giant robots to be robot heavy?
Michael Bay, one of the world’s worst directors, is also promising less explosions: “There will be a nice crescendo ending,” Bay said. “It gets much more into the robot character. The last time you kind of met a few of the robots; this time you’re gonna get a much cooler landscape.”
So expect something between Ingmar Bergman and Stanley Kubrick. Or, expect the same pile of cinematic garbage to extricate itself from Michael Bay’s asshole because the man has proven time and time again that he is incapable of anything approaching quality.
It probably seemed like a brilliant idea: buy the rights to the Gears of War videogame and the script will write itself. 90-minutes of CGI effects and lots of close-ups of gun barrels blazing. End of movie.
Problem is, the producer, Wyck Godfrey, doesn’t want to make a movie that “feels just like a world torn asunder” with “with people just in battle.”
“We went to the guys that created the game and just sort of made our pitch about how we’re going to put it together. Right now we’re working with Len Wiseman on it at Legendary and New Line,” Godfrey said.
“The hard part is to make it into something that doesn’t feel like a world torn asunder and people just in battle. You gotta figure out — I think we really want to focus on the idea of a world that’s running well and then its Emergence Day.
“Kind of make it impactful and immediate and the survival of what those 48 hours as people survive Emergence Day is, more like Cloverfield or something like that.”
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(Ratings Average: 4.00 out of 5)
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