Rants of a Girl Gamer:  Hot and Not Heroines

Posted 05-01-08
Written by: Keren Kang

The Spice Girls expressed it best back in the 90’s when yelling out their motto with mile wide smiles paired with flashing peace signs, “Girl Power!” While not everyone feels the same about The Spice Girls, for most it is true that there’s something sexy and intriguing about a girl with immense amounts of power, whether it be physical strength, mental statistics, or magical ability. Game developers know this and often include one kick ass chick that wins the affections of players over their male confederates. But for every hot heroine, there is usually an opposite…a girl existing only to annoy the hell out of players. Below is a list of the hottest heroines and their opposites…from the perspective of your fellow girl gamer.

 

Counting down from #9

 

Oh, so hot: Purim aka “The Girl”, Secret of Mana, SNES

 

 

Let’s start from the classics. She’s most commonly known as “the girl.” She’s hot for several reasons. First of all, she was one of the leading roles in arguably the best game from the Mana series. Second, she held the “I Dream of Genie” appeal with her fluffy pink pants and bikini top. Third, she can use Lumina’s Magic. Lucent Beam was the only way I was able to beat the game. Also, she was the one rescuing her lover. Damsel in distress? Psh. Not her.

 

Oh, so not: Sprite, Secret of Man, SNES

 

There have been arguments of the sexuality of little Sprite. But let’s face it…He’s a dude. Get over it.

 

“Zombie-Destructor” Heroine #8

 

Oh, so hot: Jill Valentine, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Wii

 

 

Any chick that can come face to face with some of the ugliest and scariest creatures genetically developed by the Umbrella corporation with the style, ease, and class that Jill possess is oh, so hot. In the Umbrella Chronicles, the voice in’s for her character matches perfectly, adding to her overall hot-factor. For Jill, her X-factor is her confidence. She knows she can barge into a zombie-packed mansion and complete her mission. Due to her exuding confidence, the progressively difficult game (some acts seemed impossible), gave hope to those who have faltered.

 

 

Oh, so not: Rebecca Chambers, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Wii

 

Her voice. Her squeaky, needy, whiny, voice. Sure, she can shoot some leeches; but I’d sooner lose the level, toss the game, and use the case as a coaster than listen to her voice for more than an hour.

 

“Jones Who?” Heroine #7

 

Oh, so hot: Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, Multi-platform

 

 

Step aside Indiana Jones. We’d much rather see Lara Croft solve archeological mysteries than Harrison Ford. Her vine swinging, dual-hand gun slinging, white jumpsuit wearing character is admirable. Lara’s zest for old fossil type objects overcomes the fear of entering an unknown place…something each of us ladies should strive to accomplish.

 

Oh, so not: Angelina Jolie, in Tomb Raider

 

Games adapted into films are always a bit shaky. In her own glory, Mrs. Pitt is definite hottie. But clad in the white jumpsuit and long braid…the virtual Croft is so much better in terms of style, ability, and fantasy.

 




                    

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