Nothing is Perfect

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” –Salvador Dali

I haven’t made any official tabulation, but I suspect in the past two years there have been more perfect scores for imperfect games than ever before. Either this is the best year ever for the industry or, more likely, the game “journalism” community is proving itself overly susceptible to hype. It’s no wonder really, as the industry is sparing no expense in jetting writers to parties and events in an attempt to sway opinion. Far more critical than the subtle payola that occurs in this business is the sheer amount of critics who really don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.

BioSchlock

BioShock is a great-looking game that happens to have top-notch sound-effects and a decent story, but the gameplay is beyond fundamentally flawed. It comes across as cobbled together from a pile of disparate parts, an opinion that is backed up by the supplemental DVD that discusses the making of the game. One designer after another explains how the game shifted gears many times throughout its creation, abandoned some ideas and shoe-horned others. What you were left with was a sweet-looking adventure with broken gameplay, redundant tasks and pointless “customization” of weapons when all you have to do is run around with a wrench. Yet, despite a list of flaws, some of which are quite serious, BioShock was critic-proof, as if every single reviewer was scared to say the truth for fear of receiving a mountain of hate-email.

Who thought BioShock was perfect and incapable of improvement?

Eurogamer

Game Informer

1UP

Gamespy

Games Radar

GamePro

GameDaily

Yahoo! Games

Game Revolution

G4TV

GameTap

…and about 15 other sources, each of which generates revenue through advertising money that comes straight from the industry they are supposed to be critical of. 

The Orange Box (360)

The Orange Box might be a great value on the 360, but Team Fortress II has a ton of problems in the multiplayer department that, two patches later, still leave it floundering. You’ll find insufferable lag in the majority of games, a horrible lobby system and an inability to easily play with friends, which is quite shocking given the “team” aspect of the game.  Yet, despite these severe issues, The Orange Box led a parade of perfect scores from publications who obviously didn’t even play Team Fortress II. I suspect a great majority of them just assumed multiplayer would be smooth and hoped for the best. Who are the culprits? Unsurprisingly, the same gaggle of places that thought BioShock was a flawless diamond:

Yahoo! Games

Eurogamer

GameTap

GameDaily

GameSpy

1UP

GamePro

G4TV

Halo 3

Halo 3 is yet another seemingly critic-proof game that could do no wrong, despite the fact the graphics are average, the story is thin, the gameplay doesn’t innovate and it feels like something I played in the 90s when it was called Unreal Tournament.    A perfect game? Hardly. It has a great replay system that is rendered pointless with the omission of even minor editing capabilities and while the ability to design custom game types is nifty, there is no way to play them with people who aren’t on your friends list. There isn’t a single aspect of Halo 3 that rises to the level of perfection, unless you count the marketing.  Which sites/magazines were incapable of finding a single flaw? An unsurprising list:

GamePro

GameSpy

Eurogamer

Games Radar

1UP

GameTap

G4TV

Edge Magazine

..and tons of others.

Do Your Job

Once upon a time, game reviews had teeth. Magazines like Computer Gaming World wielded their power effectively and honestly, but as the industry grew and the money began to flow, the power shifted. PR companies quickly learned how to sway opinion, withholding access to those who didn’t play along, offering up subtle threats for low review scores and throwing exclusive parties. It reminds me of the White House Press Corp, who gets to travel on Air Force One and and follow the President’s every move until they ask a tough question and find their access revoked. Those of us who have been tasked with using our experience and understanding of the industry to better inform the public have been seriously compromised to the point where nothing we say can be trusted.

The worst part of this growing debacle is that by tossing around perfect scores we ensure the industry won’t mature and evolve. Unless critics clearly and fairly indicate the flaws we see, and score accordingly, we render ourselves moot and untrustworthy. It’s time we so-called journalists and critics reclaim our integrity…and do our job.