Don’t be fooled. Even though Shawn Merriman has his eyebrow cocked oh so seductively at you, urging you to get in the game, this is not going to be fun. Unless you are a fan of repetitive, watered down, and positively annoying incarnations of your favorite NFL teams then this isn’t for you.

It’s not that NFL Tour doesn’t try, but it’s where it puts its effort is the problem. So much seems to have been put into the presentation here. The announcer before each game in the Tour series challenges you to give it your all as you brace yourself for rough and tough gridiron action. The stadiums all explode with fireworks and glitz, and your gonna watch the damn glitz whether you like it or not, because you can’t skip it no matter how many times you hit the damn buttons. Nevermind that every stadium looks the same, albeit with some slight modifications to the tapestries draped along the roof. Some of them are fashioned in the shape of a dome, like the New Orleans arena, or some have these wonderful little spikes along the end in a vain attempt to look badass. These minor little changes do nothing to distract from the fact that the fields all have the same color scheme, no matter what team is playing there.

The tour mode tries to inject some personality into this game by letting you create your character and choose your position on your favorite team. Customization is slim though, as the facial models offered to you don’t capture much range, and the uniform customization stops at how much tape and pads you want to cover your player. After this stage you can select where your attributes can go, depending on what position you play you can then apply stats to things like break tackle and arm power. This is all pretty standard, but I can’t understand why my brand new QB with a power of 20 can hurl the ball 50 yards down the field with accuracy reserved for the likes of Peyton Manning.

To put it more simply, this game is too easy. The play calls on defense can be relegated to one of two plays, but both of them involve blitzing straight up the center and smacking the QB 2 seconds after the snap. When it is possible for me to pick up the game and pound out a 50-6 victory there is a problem. While that margin may not seem too extreme, you must know that the game is only 3 minutes long, with a minute and a half making up each half. The tackling system is easily powered through, as any single tackle can be denied with some classic button mashing, which will have you making 60 yard sprints to the end-zone with no difficulty. Passing the ball isn’t much harder, as you can rely on your number 1 receiver to catch the ball, no matter how many people are covering him. Triple coverage can’t even stop your receivers, as they will constantly jump in the air to make that amazing grab. Yeah, I’ll admit I loved it the first few times, but three games in it merely became an exercise in futility for any defense put against me. Simply call the long ball and roll out to the right, bomb it out there and trust me, he’ll catch it, no matter what.