Plan and simple, Champions Online lost its hold on me. I continued to dive into the game, move around the world, soak up the atmosphere, read about its future and most importantly, evaluate the content beyond my reach. What I definitively learned, and I hope my review hinted at, is that the game lacks legs. The atmosphere has always been incredibly disjointed thanks to the instancing of most zones. Even though all of the settings make sense in the universe, they lack a cohesive flow. And the multitude of characters aren’t employed effectively either. Because of these continued slip-ups through the middle to later levels, Champions Online gets boiled down to its diverse arcade-y combat. In essence, it becomes a soulless experience.
When I tore Star Trek Online a new a-hole for the very same reasons, I was once again called every name in the book and, like Champions Online, it will take a few months before I am once again proven correct. I’m trying to save you people money, I swear. I die a little inside every time I hear someone has foolishly purchased a lifetime subscription.
Going outside. It’s quite dangerous. Just ask a World of Warcraft player. Gang fights, turf disputes, trade swindling, imposing authorities, Mr. T. – and we’re not even talking about WoW yet.
So imagine what happens when you mix those things, rampant drug and alcohol usage, internet anonymity, a cross between GTA-style violence and Harry Potter-style witchery, 13-year-olds, and good old FPS teabagging. You get a rather dangerous place called a “PvP Realm.” Roughly translated for those who haven’t yet mastered WoW-speak, it means “open season on your ass.” But since Blizzard has yet to debut its patented in-game butt cup (available soon for only $10, limit one per account) to shield your character (aka toon) from unwanted posterior intrusions, you’ll have to settle with my $5 “Don’t-even-think-about-going-there” tour guide, provided to you free of charge.
So, without further adieu, I bring you, ranging from “hunting guide for Dick Cheney” to “sparring partner for Chuck Norris,” the top 10 most dangerous world PvP areas of WoW.
We get a lot of press releases sent to us. Myself, it’s not unusual to see near a hundred of them hit my inbox in a day. With that much competition, its hard to capture our attention. But when I glimpsed an email saying that development studio “Bloober Team” is announcing the first title being developed exclusively for the iPad, and their calling it “Gender Wars: The Battle”, I couldn’t help but sit up and take notice. When I then read that the lead designer described the game like this,
“In a way, and I understand that it’s bit bold to say, we would like to create something similar to Metal Gear Solid for iPad.”
I start to scratch my head and a confused look passes over my face. Gender Wars? Solid Snake?
But it doesn’t end there so I am posting the original press release in full (minus legally sensitive info, of course) after the break so you can read it for yourself. It’s one of the stranger ones we have ever come across and was either written by some kind of genius, or someone on acid. We’ve also posted the game’s sole screenshot to be released so far. (For those not sure about clicking through, the screenshot does not contain any images of Gender-specific anatomical parts battling it out.)
Here are both the screenshot and the press release:
SEGA has inadvertently let the proverbial cat-out-of-the-bag about Sonic the Hedgehog’s future game appearances, evidenced by the graphic above that was located on the official Sonic 4 website. The image reveals two important elements, including a release date (July 2010) and available platforms, which include the PlayStation Network, Xbox Live Arcade and the long-rumored and now confirmed, iPhone (and iPad).
Proof can be found here, though the image has apparently been removed by undoubtedly embarrassed representatives of SEGA.
I just suffered through one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. I wasn’t planning on writing anything about it; I was just going to let it pass and hide my shame for even having voluntarily seen the film because I should have known better. However the filmmakers appear to have a huge marketing budget that they’re using to push the damn movie relentlessly through posters at every bus stop and an ad during every commercial break. The movie is “Gamer,” and being one myself, it got me thinking about what the film says about this very unique and diverse classification of people.
Before “Gamer” I had never seen any other films by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor who’d both written and directed it and I had no idea that they already had a reputation, of sorts. Their previous movies are Crank, and Crank: High Voltage which I’ve heard many describe simply as “hectic.” (They are also currently working on Crank 3, said to be in 3D, and finishing up Jonah Hex, which IMDb has explained like this: “In the Wild West, a scarred bounty hunter tracks a voodoo practitioner bent on liberating the South by raising an army of the undead.”)
In the special features of the “Gamer” DVD they themselves said, “Watching [our movies] is like audience torture. We were talking about this the other day, like, not only do we torture our characters [...] but we torture our audience. It’s like hitting them over the head with a ball pein hammer for 90 minutes.”
Shortly before High Voltage Software released The Conduit last year on the Wii, it announced a few more projects, one of which was a 3D tournament fighter for the Wii titled “Gladiator A.D.”
Since that time there haven’t been too many announcements about the title which was said to run on the company’s patented Quantum 3 physics and reportedly utilize Motion Plus, but today a new post showed up on Sega’s official blog introducing us to a vaguely familiar-looking title, “Tournament of Legends.”
From Sega’s blog post:
“Tournament of Legends features epic battles in fantastic fighting arenas where they will wield mythical blade weapons, launch 40 magic attacks, and dodge giant mythological creatures that protect the battle lairs. In intense one and two-player fights, players master a range of character and weapon based magic attacks; including unleashing, amongst others, a man-eating lion, Jupiter’s Storm, Thor’s Fury and a nest of venomous snakes.
Tournament of Legends strives to offer even the most sophisticated Wii gamer a rich weapon fighting experience. Players will be able to switch weapons and enchantments with other characters or compete in various Wii Remote™/Nunchuk™ controller challenges which include dodging giant mythological creatures or restoring health and armor during fights. The game also features an Interactive Training mode and supports the Classic Controller™.”
So it looks like Gladiator A.D. was merely a tentative title until the marketing department at Sega could come up with something a little better, but it’s a bit odd that the company didn’t formally announce a change of title with its blog post. Also strangely absent is any mention of the previously reported Motion Plus support.
The blog post does seem to clear up one thing though: a continued relationship between Sega and High Voltage Software. After The Conduit’s mediocre/decent sales (which last we officially heard was around 270,000 units), there was certainly a question as to whether Sega would publish the rest of High Voltage Software’s Wii titles such as The Grinder. The upcoming release of Tournament of Legends seems to suggest that yes, Sega will.
Tournament of Legends is scheduled to release on May 18, 2010, exclusively for the Wii.
(Ratings Average: 4.00 out of 5)
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